Help from the 1970's

 Getting up this morning was hard. I'm kind of achy all over and blamed it on the cold, but upon checking my phone, saw that a cold front is coming. 

Great. I haven't winterized the greenhouse and there's about 100 potted plants (big ones, that take 2 people to carry) that need to go into it and also I've got to find stuff to protect the citrus trees and good heavens, it's mighty early for a frost.

I guess I know what I'm doing today! I'll call Dad, and see if CJ can come by after work to help with the plants. Good grief. 

I also woke up feeling very sorry for myself. When ever I was in that sort of mood as a child, Mom would sing this song:

"Let's have a pity-party...1..2..3..AWWWWWWW"

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When my kids were young(er), especially teens, I'd sing this song from Hee Haw (remember Hee Haw?)

Gloom, despair and agony on me, 

Deep dark depression, excessive misery!

If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all!

Gloom despair and agony on me!

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Then there's this song from The Muppet Show (remember The Muppet Show?) The setting is dark and gothic, with 2 very gloomy characters in ashy black suits and extremely glum countenances. One is banging on a piano. They sing in a minor key, with somewhat nasally voices:

I'm so ha-aa-py

I'm so gla-aa-ad

Life has been

wonderful to mee

that's why I'm soo

haa-aa-peeeeee

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So, as you can probably tell, I come from a family who has no patience for self-pity. I've spent the last week in a fog. And yes, a lot of it has been feeling sorry for myself. 

Judaism has this beautiful process of dealing with grief. Shiva is a seven day period following the burial of a loved one, where the immediate family members stay home and accept condolences from the community. Services are held daily, morning and evening, in the home so the family members don't have to leave. Meals are brought to them so they don't have to cook. After the 7 days of Shiva, there are 23 days of Sheloshim, a gradual easing back into everyday stuff, returning to work, and activities of daily living. Participation in entertainment, like movies and parties, are not allowed. After the month of mourning, participation in normal life is permitted. 

I love this. I think by prescribing times gives the grief-stricken a handle to hold onto, and the community times that they know What and When. I need that sort of thing. It's not everyone's cup of tea and no, at the end of the month Grief isn't just OVER and let's All Get Back To Normal, but it also forces/permits the bereft to sit and mourn without the burden of feeling like they're being useless. That's very important to me. Not feeling Useless. 

It's been 6 days since Capt's funeral. I'm not Jewish, nor are any of my immediate friends. Upon reflection, I kind of feel like God said SIT DOWN, because I came down with a nasty cold and have been forced to sit, drink hot tea, and meditate. Now I'm looking at the upcoming cold front and almost feel like God is saying "Ok, that's enough. Get up."  

God knows our innermost qualities. He knows who needs gentle treatment and who needs to be told what to do forcefully (that would be me.) Do I think He caused the cold front just to get me off the couch and moving around? Pfft. I'm not that special. But He works in His own way, for His own purposes.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.    Romans 8:27-28

So, in my estimation, God can work head colds, cold fronts, living situations, TV shows from the 1970's (and there it goes again...double spacing and I don't know why) for my good, because I love Him.  He will take this situation I see as awful and unfair, and work it out. I know He will. Not sure how, yet, but He will.