Jalapeno Popper Bites because life is better with fried cheese.

 We don't eat a big meal in the evening. We've turned into those old people who eat a big lunch, take a nap, then have an Adult Libation and A Nibble in the evening. Sometimes the nibbles are a simple as potato chips, or a wee bowl of peanuts. We sleep better that way. Capt has a favorite nibble, one that takes a little effort but not so much that I dislike fixing them (that's Southern for "preparing them") (they aren't actually broken). These are ripe for messing with, changing up the seasonings to suit personal tastes, and also for fixing (excuse me...Preparing) a whole bunch ahead of time then just fixing (ahem...) however many or few you want in the moment.  I generally double the recipe, freeze most of them, and pull out however many Capt requires for his Evening Repast. These probably would be fantastic for some sort of sports party (I don't do those) or cookout thing. Anyway, here they are, Capt's favorite nibble:

Fried Jalapeno Popper Bites (double if you want to) (also, alternatives in parenthesis)

Ingredients

Filling

• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
• 3 jalapenos, seeded and diced
• 1/4 cup chopped cooked bacon (or 1/2 teaspoon Dark and Smoky Flatiron Pepper)
• 2 Tbsp Sriracha sauce (or some other hot sauce)

Coating

• 1/2 cup all purpose flour (gluten free is fine)
• 1/2 cup Panko bread crumbs (also GF)
• 1/2 cup plain bread crumbs (also GF)
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1/4 tsp black pepper
• 1/4 tsp salt

• 2 eggs, beaten
• 2 tablespoons water

Oil for frying

• Combine the filling ingredients until well mixed. I do it in a stand mixer with a paddle. 
• Using a small cookie scoop (like a tiny ice cream scoop, about 2 tablespoon size), scoop the mix onto parchment paper on a cookie sheet, and stick them in the freezer until solid- 2 or 3 hours.
• Mix the coating stuff together in a bowl, except for the eggs and water.
• Mix the eggs and water together in another bowl.
• Heat several inches of oil- something neutral like canola or vegetable- to 350F. 
• While the oil is heating, roll the cold cheese balls in the egg mix, then coat with the bread crumb mix, and set on a plate.
• When the oil is hot, fry 6-8 at a time until golden brown- roughly 3-4 minutes. Drain on a paper towel and serve warm with Ranch dressing (Capt likes to mix some Flat Iron 4 pepper blend red pepper flakes into the dressing, or gets the Jalapeno Ranch made by Lighthouse)

I make up a double batch of the cheese balls, scoop them out, and freeze them. They all go into a big ziploc bag in the freezer, and I'll fix however many we want (like 6-8) at a time. The coating blend can also be made ahead of time and stored in the freezer. 

Our jalapenos come out of the garden. I reckon, if you're so inclined, you could use a milder pepper like a poblano, or a hotter one like a serrano or even a Hairy Chested Fool type like a habanero.  The first couple of times I put in bacon, but then we had some guests who needed it Halal (like Kosher but for Muslims) so no bacon. I used a bit of smoked pepper blend from Flat Iron Pepper Co. and it gave a lovely hint of smoke and I liked it even better than with the bacon...primarily because I didn't have to fix (prepare) any to go into it, but the flavor was lovely.

An Unpaid Endorsement for Flat Iron Pepper Company: Y'all. They have all sorts of combinations of peppers for all sorts of different applications even one called I Can't Feel My Face that is just the thing to give to your smart-ass son who thinks there's no such thing as a pepper too hot for him. We got some of that, opened it cautiously and sniffed from a distance and both of us our faces went numb. Just the thing. We have most (if not all) of their blends and yes. They're amazing. Some are too hot for my delicate feminine constitution, but they also have milder versions of some of them and those are really good. The flavor blends are kind of like....I don't know....a fine coffee blend or anything else improved by a bit of this and a touch of that. Don't get me wrong, they tend to be hot and if you're someone who can't handle the heat of a jalapeno you might be careful and stick with the Hatch Valley Green and the BBQ rub and use them sparingly. That said...y'all. So good.

Po-tay-toes: smush um, fluff um, mix um with a choux

 More potato things...because who doesn't love taters?  Now, I'd never made pate' choux before. It's the dough that cream puffs and eclairs are made from. Light and crispy and fancy sounded all French and such. Surprisingly easy if you follow the directions to a T. Don't shortcut. Don't substitute margarine for the butter. in fact, NEVER substitute margarine for butter. For anything. I don't care if the recipe says margarine. Just don't. In fact, if you have margarine (and you're not dealing with a dairy allergy or maybe you're a vegan) (though to my knowledge I don't know any vegans) (not intentionally anyway) just back away from the margarine and use the all natural-from-a-cow-as-God-intended-it butter. 

One of the most disappointing culinary experiences in my entire life involved a gorgeous 17 layer caramel cake at a coffee shop. (anyone in the Deep South knows of which I speak. Every Baptist church has at least one person who makes this confectionary miracle and brings it to the 4th Sunday potluck lunch, or it should.)  I got my delicious fresh pour-over coffee and a lovely slice of that glorious cake. My first bite was anticipated like a 6 year old anticipating Christmas. It had been so very long since I'd had a delicious, buttery slice of caramel cake. and....(you see where this is going)....it had been made with margarine. It felt like that 6 year old got socks for Christmas. That were wrapped up in a Nintendo box. I didn't even want another bite though I did in the hopes that maybe my taste buds had somehow briefly glitched and it actually was a butter caramel cake. It wasn't. They hadn't. 

So what I'm saying is this: please use real butter. It doesn't matter if it's salted or unsalted (easier to control the seasoning if it's un- but you do you.) So here's the super fun and easier-than-you'd-think recipe for Potato Puffs.

• 4 small Yukon Gold potatoes, quartered (apparently you can also use russets but Yukon Golds tend to be smaller)

For the pastry dough:

• 1/2 cup water
• 1/4 cup butter
• kosher salt to taste
• 1/2 cup flour (I used gluten free though not grain free)
• 2 large eggs
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper
• 1 pinch ground nutmeg

Preheat the oven to 450F. Generously butter a 24-cup mini muffin pan

Put the potatoes in a pot and boil them until soft. When they're done, drain off the water, peel, and mash them until smooth. I used a ricer so they had no lumps at all. I don't think you'd want any lumps.

For the dough, bring the water and butter to a boil, with a bit of salt. Turn off the heat and add the flour, stirring vigorously to make a kind of stiff dough. Put it over into a mixing bowl and smush up the sides of the bowl so it will cool quickly. When it's cool, add the eggs and beat until it's smooth. I used a stand mixer with the whisk attachment. A hand mixer would work just fine.  Add the potatoes and beat some more, until it's smooth.

Scoop about 2 tablespoons of the mixture into each well greased (IMPORTANT. Don't assume because it might be non-stick that you don't want it buttered) muffin cup. Bake for 20 minutes. Let them sit one minute after taking them out of the oven, then turn onto a wire rack to cook 5 minutes. Serve warm with butter.

Note: I think you could add chopped herbs/chives/bacon to the dough. I don't know how cheese would affect the way they puff up.

I want to try making the dough ahead of time (maybe the day before) and see if that messes with the quality of the end product. Since it doesn't have any leavening in it there's no time-specific chemical reaction taking place that would be ruined by a long wait. It would be nice to be able to make it ahead of time, because it kind of takes up a lot of counter space.

I made these in 2 batches because I have just one 12-cup mini muffin pan. Everyone kept "testing the first batch for quality control purposes". (You know, you don't want to serve substandard food to guests. Here, let me check one to see if they're any good. Ok, I'd better check again to be sure. Hey guests, try one and see if you think they're ok. Try another one to be sure.)  They were light, potato-y crispy goodness, like a cross between a pre-stuffed cream puff and a tater-tot only smooth. I kept the slim remainder of the first batch warm while the second batch baked and there was no loss of quality. Even at the end of the meal when everything was cooled off and there were 4 left, those were still delicious. I really would use a ricer to mash the taters. It makes such a smooth, chunkless result. If you're a more diligent sort than I, and can make perfectly smooth mash without one, more power to you. 

For your viewing pleasure, here's some Yukon Gold potatoes.

Po-tay-toes....boil um fry um stick um in a stew

 See, here's the thing. Between my undying love of potatoes and our decision (medical reasons) to eliminate all grains from our diet, I am trying out many new things potato related. Capt has developed grain allergies. Like, seriously. Not just "oh look everyone says grain's bad and I immediately hop on whatever dietary bandwagon is currently trundling down the culinary fad-train track all over Internet Celebrity Hype-Thing". No. We're talking diabetes, gut issues, you-name-it. Here's what happened when grain was eliminated:

• Diabetes (Type 2) went away. 
• 45 pounds went away
• Diverticulosis/Diverticulitis disappeared
• Lifelong cholesterol reading of 250+ dropped to 170
• Arthritis and inflammation is gone.

That's not to say it's been easy. Grain is everywhere, even in places you don't expect like most soy sauce (contains wheat), flavored/preseasoned mixes (maltodextrin is often made from wheat), commercially made salad dressings, snacks, even the seasonings on many flavors of potato chips. And, once you've eliminated the stuff from your diet, all it takes is a couple of bites of something containing a grain product to bring all those above-mentioned issues roaring back.  Even eating something fried in oil that also fried a wheat product can cause a reaction. 

This makes eating out really difficult. We love eating out, trying new things, and having someone else clean up after the meal. Not anymore...too risky. SO...we are trying new stuff at home. I know it sounds like we've gone all carb-free. This isn't true. We love our carbs. We're just getting them in the form of potatoes now. Mmm I love taters.  Capt spends a lot of time sifting through the internet, looking for new ways to prepare potatoes that don't just taste like a reiteration of a baked potato. 

We had some friends here for a couple of days recently, and an opportunity to try out a couple of recipes on them, with amazing success. I mean...DELICIOUS. Probably more effort than, say, wrapping a tater in foil and shoving it in the oven for a couple of ours, but I love to cook, and mucking around in the kitchen with things like taters and sharp cheese and probably an obscene amount of butter doesn't hurt anyone's feelings at all. Especially when said tater dish is paired up with a delicious marinated steak & chimichurri sauce, or a medium rare grilled eye of round.

So here's the first one we did (seriously, one of those things that is greater than the sum of it's ingredients)

Steakhouse Potatoes Romanoff

• 1 teaspoon of butter or maybe more
• 3 large russet potatoes, scrubbed
• 2 shallots, minced
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon white pepper (preferably freshly ground)
• pinch of cayenne pepper (or to taste)
• 2-1/2 cups grated sharp white cheddar (or yellow but I think white's prettier)
• 1-3/4 cups sour cream

THE DAY BEFORE YOU WANT THIS:

Preheat the oven to 400F (200C)  

Wrap each potato in foil and bake for about 90 minutes or until vey tender. Let them cool to room temperature then put them in the fridge until completely chilled- 8 hours to overnight.

THE DAY YOU WANT THIS:

Preheat the oven to 425F (220C) Butter a baking dish generously

Shred the potatoes into a large bowl using a cheese grater. Add the minced shallots. (you want about 1/3 a cup of shallots). Season with the white pepper, salt, and cayenne pepper. Gently toss all this with 2 forks (important! You want it to stay really fluffy!) until combined. Add the cheddar cheese and toss again with the forks. (important! You want it to stay really fluffy!)

Dollop the sour cream onto the potato/cheese stuff in about 1-2 tablespoon sized blobs. Gently stir it in with the forks until barely combined. Pile the mixture gently into the baking dish, fluffing it with the fork and piling high, then pat down very gently, keeping the top kind of rough.

Bake in the preheated oven for 30-35 minutes, until piping hot and the top is browned.

Notes: I think it would benefit from some minced chives on top.

Tomorrow, I'll put up the recipe for the potato puffs...kind of a hybrid between a pate' choux puff pastry and a potato ball. Because why not. Who doesn't love a crispy pate' choux pastry? 

Did I take pictures? Of course not. Putting that stuff on the counter with a delicious grilled eye of round meant it lasted about 10 minutes, amid exclamations of delight and stuff. I never think to take a picture until it's all gone. Just take my word for it. Have I ever lead you wrong? No, not intentionally. So here's a picture of a plain old russet potato:

Where to go, what to do

 So, we looked at St Croix. It's a lovely place with interesting people and if we had the sort of income that allowed it, would probably live there. However, the cost of living rivals Manhattan and Los Angeles, and that's not feasible.

Then we looked at Roatan. The cost of living is definitely doable, but the vast disparity between Haves and Have-Nots, and the...well...(shall we say)...Interesting state of the infrastructure kind of put us off. We've also had several people tell us "The island will speak to you. It will either welcome you or push you away." We felt that with both St Croix and Roatan.

So, on to the next one. We have bought tickets and made necessary arrangement to go to Panama. We are reading all we can find about it. It's an interesting place. The most I knew about it involved Banana Republic comments and Manuel Noriega and a couple of molas my Mom had. (Molas are a type of textile technique akin to quilting but not quite that.) Panama City is a very modern place, with all the amenities of any good American city. David (pronounced dah-VEED) is a smaller place, but has a Costco which...y'know...is a benchmark of sorts. We aren't looking at those places but it's nice to know they're there. We are looking at the island archipelago of Bocas Del Toro province. Fishing, diving, boating, looooww cost of living, decent housing, fruits, backpacking trust-fund babies with armpit hair and braids, a bar-hopping event called Filthy Friday in which we are unlikely to participate, and apparently all you need is a bike or a golf cart to get around (or a boat). We're going to take a week and check it out, and decide what's what.

Then, come home and discuss. Look at pictures, crunch numbers, talk to Abram (our Bocas Contact), and think/pray/sleep on it. 

See, here's the thing. I'm tired of being predictable. I'm tired of living by everyone else's expectations and wondering what would they think about it and do I need their approval to do something I've always wanted to do, and knowing I probably wouldn't get it. Go on a week-long trip and bring back a t-shirt and a seashell? Oh sure, they'd be all for that, as long as I come back and return to doing all the good and proper middle-aged woman things of which the world approves. 

But I'm tired of being Properly Approved. I want to live the second half of my life joyfully, not just contentedly. I want to go several weeks wearing nothing but flipflops and shorts and a t-shirt and a stack of silver bangles on my left wrist. I want to find a group of people who are also living joyfully. 

Now, I know we might get down there and not be spoken to by the place. If that happens, it happens. I'm open to it happening. If it does we will keep looking. Probably take a break from it for a couple of months so we can catch our breath and research...but keep looking.

There are certain criteria. Shallows fly-fishing is a must. Capt has a beautiful flats boat he wants to take people on chartered fly fishing trips. St Croix didn't have much, Roatan had more, Panama is full of it. So are the Alabama and Florida Gulf Coasts. There's some great places along there, and moving to the Gulf Coast would certainly be logistically simpler, especially since we already have an RV that's comfortable for living in.

We wouldn't be the first people ever to do this. The Caribbean, Central and South America are full of expats who decided a change was in order. The internet, cell phones, Skype, and email have made communication with people all over the world a snap. While it's not the same as hugging your grandkid, if we lived in Kansas the effect would be about the same.

I imagine having the Grandpunkins for 5 weeks of Summer vacation. I can picture it. They start back on the first day of 5th grade and the teacher assigns the ubiquitous "What I Did On Summer Vacation" essay, and it involves "learned to scuba dive in a Central American country" and "learned how to speak Garifuna". How cool would that be? My 5th grade essays said things like "I went swimming in a pond and got a leech". I would love for our kids to be able to come visit, and expand their horizons.

One of the things Capt has been saying all along, was that he's spent the first half of his life making people work, grinding them up to make a profit for someone else. He wants the second half to be spent helping them have fun. Fly fishing, teaching them to scuba dive, and I want to help facilitate that in whatever way I can. Maybe I can make a memento of their fun, or feed them while they're making those memories. Maybe I can find a group of women with a common interest and a way to use it to help others.

We'll figure it out. I'm glad we're finally in that spot to be able to actively work on it.

Here's a random picture of a red hibiscus for your viewing pleasure.

Diving in Roatan

 Ok, so we took this trip to Roatan, Honduras with the local dive shop, Adventure Sports. Great place, I highly recommend it if you're in the area and want to learn how to dive. Anyway, the point of the trip was to see some great stuff and we did! 

This would be me. 

and this would be Capt. 

First, the experience all around was lovely. We were at The Mayan Princess resort (all inclusive...just go to the bar and tell them what you want, reservations were necessary for the restaurants), and there was a dive shop affiliated. Our captain, Clyde, and divemaster, Mark, were competent and attentive. WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SET UP OUR OWN GEAR. Let me tell you, schlepping giant tanks and weights and BCD's and all the bells and whistles can be a pain in the ass, and having someone else do it, all we had to do was show up and step on the boat...that was the height of luxury. Bowls of fruit, fresh water, cookies...lovely. Diving is hungry work.

I can't tell you the names of all the places we dove but I'll describe them. We did a couple of reefs quite near the resort to start out. They were...ok. They'd suffered something called White Band Disease so there was a lot of dead staghorn-type coral and the other corals weren't super healthy looking. Later in the week we took a boat ride to the east, away from the populated areas and the reefs were much nicer- more populated with fish, and the corals were more plentiful.

Did you know sponges come in blue?

One thing I didn't see, and this puzzled me, were bait balls. Bait balls are these enormous schools of millions of little sardine/minnow sized fish. They're toward the bottom of the food chain, an necessary for a healthy ecosystem. I also didn't see larger predatory fish like barracuda, but I could have just been in the wrong place. 

Pretty blue fish

There were turtles (joy!) and spotted eagle rays, parrotfish, queen angels, and blue herring. The water was delightfully warm at about 80F and for the most part, quite clear. Capt spent time working with me on balancing in the water (not as easy as you'd think) and we did our own thing apart from the group mostly. There was a "swim through" that actually qualified as a "cave dive" because much of the swim was completely covered over by...well...cave. I was kind of intrigued by it, though there wasn't much to see. I played with some jellyfish (the non-stinging kind), pointed at sea urchins and discussed a sea cucumber with other members of the group. Mutual consensus decided it looked like an enormous turd.

A sea turtle, taking a nap under some coral

The night dive was amazing. A.MAZE.ING. Tiny little fish came out, and they glowed blue in my UV flashlight. Little jellyfish had rows of blinking orange lights up the middle of their bodies. Brain corals glow like something out of a New York City Rave. And an octopus put on a show! I don't know if he was trying to intimidate us, or knew we were excited to see him so he (she? I didn't ask)spread out and wiggled the tips of his tentacles at us. She (he?) was a solid 3 feet across. Capt and I kind of went off on our own, and he discovered another, smaller octopus who was shy and not the exhibitionist like the first one.

I wildly enjoyed the trip. Traveling is something I've always loved. Even the "inconveniences" of airports...I mean, seriously. inconvenienced? How long would it take to ride a horse to Roatan, not to mention having to go through Mexico, etc. Hopping on a plane after standing in line for an overpriced cup of weak coffee ain't no thang.

Next: Bocas Del Toro, Panama. We're taking a few weeks to stay home and maybe tidy up a bit, work on figuring things out, see what's what.

Recovery Mode

 Ok, so a couple of days ago (I think...it's Wednesday....I think.) we returned from a week in Roatan, Honduras. It was a dive trip organized by Adventure Sports, Auburn and hecka fun it was, too! We were housed in a gorgeous resort, did some lovely diving in an assortment of reefs, including a night dive where I got to see my first every live-in-it's-natural-habitat octopus. Bucket list item checked. Capt got some good video of it, and I haven't yet figured out how to put that up here without chewing up so much bandwidth the computer goes on strike. 

Capt took this picture on one of the dives. Pretty, right?

Anyway, we figured out that Roatan isn't where we want to go. Yes, it was a lovely place but it didn't speak to us. 

One the plus side, did you know that you don't need a prescription to get an antibiotic? My body decided to cultivate a raging bladder infection. I was kind of freaking out about it, although there was an urgent care center a couple of blocks away, and one of the members of our group was a physician. Someone told me "you don't need a script and the pharmacy is that blue building right there." So I asked the doctor what I needed and was able to get it for a pittance and boom, all done. That was nice. And yes, it worked so I know it was real and not little cornstarch pills.

Now we're home, we also imported a Honduran Head Cold. COVID! shouts the world. No, a head cold. It lasted 4 days and other than a little residual congestion we're fine. 8 loads of laundry, lovingly separated by colors by Capt, because he knows I'm picky like that, and washed by Capt because I was sound asleep on the couch for 2 days. (good man). He also made a big pot of chicken soup, heavy on the garlic, because good man and it's what I need when I'm sick.

On the minus side, when we got home and I stepped out of the truck, I smelled a stench. I thought it was the dog, who's a big German Shepherd and prone to rolling in dead things. It wasn't the dog. I heard a chiming sound, of the sort made by our large freezer as an alert when something isn't right. Upon approaching said freezer, the stench became stronger and I realized something terrible was amiss with it.  Yup, Freezer wasn't frozen. Contents were not only not frozen, but were ambient temperature and making themselves unpleasantly known. So I called Dad to ask if there was some sort of electrical issue. "Yes, there was a lightning storm Sunday night (exactly the day after we left) that set our stove on fire and blew out several of our appliances. I checked your place and didn't see anything wrong." Unfortunately, the freezer was packed with a couple $K worth of meats, casseroles, seafood, vegetables....it was a big freezer.  Capt did some investigations and determined that the storm blew up the compressor on the freezer. Dangit. We aren't going to replace it just yet. No need to spend the money on it if we're just going to move somewhere else soon.

So, why not Roatan? What didn't speak to us?  Well, it's a bit on the Third World side, where we were. The area was said to be the Happening Side, with the businesses and amenities. And yes there were a couple of great restaurants and the sort of shopping that appeals to the cruise ships. But the roads were terrible, food would be purchased from individual vendors "The Fruit Guy, The Fish Lady, etc...and you have to know who they are.  I talked to a woman who moved there in 2005, and she told be about how wonderful it was to have to figure all that out and how awful more developed places were. Having spent some times in St Croix (a More Developed Place) I appreciated her perspective on it and am very glad I talked with her about it. I think if we were in our 20's or 30's it would be an exciting adventure, but we are not. I want to know some things are readily available- like excellent medical care, good BBQ, and a library. And fairly regular mail service. 

The one thing Roatan had going for it was low living expenses. Rent is cheap, but electricity is sketchy unless you put in solar or a generator. Those are expensive because they have to be imported. Water is collected in cisterns, and that means bottled water or a super-filter for drinking. Also...soap doesn't lather. That's disconcerting. Capt said at one point "I want to live somewhere that soap lathers. This is making me nuts." It's funny how you figure out these details but really, even though it seems like a small thing it's kind of like...do you really want to marry someone who squeezes the toothpaste in the middle, or loads the toilet paper wrong onto the holder? It's those little things that eventually drive you crazy. 

So the upshot is...Roatan is a great place to visit. The diving was fabulous. We ate at this restaurant that was a 200 yard walk down the beach, called The Argentine Grill where I had the most amazing skirt steak ever...so good that I had it twice in one day. And the second time I said "no sides, I just want the meat." Everyone thought I was a bit odd until I let them have a bite.  It wouldn't hurt my feelings to go back for another visit.

So where to next? We're looking at the Florida Keys, still considering St. Croix, and want to check out parts of Panama and maybe Belize. Staying in the US type of territories would be the least complicated, logistically speaking, but in the long run places like Panama or Belize may be more economical.

In the mean time, I'm going to sit here and sip on a Cruzan Rum Painkiller:

• 2-4 oz Cruzan Aged Rum (made on St Croix) 
• 4 oz pineapple juice,
• 2 oz orange juice
• 1 oz coconut cream (which I could eat right out of the can but won't)

Put all this in a big shaker with a lot of ice and shake it up until nice and cold, and pour into a big glass. Enjoy while writing or thinking about a tropical locale.