Chrismess

I'm not really sure how I'm going to deal with The Holiday. Christmas, I mean. You see, I'd just gotten to where I was able to do it again, after Himself's passing. Capt wasn't huge into it, but he knew I had been (based on the many bins of decorations I had), and 2 years ago was the first time since 2014 I'd really been able to get all those decorations out, the many years of Santa mugs, garlands, lights, wreaths, sparkly things and ornaments collected, and enjoy them. 

But now...dangit. I gave my big lighted tree to #2, as he had said he wanted to put one up for his roommates. He's house manager in a Sober Living Facility, and the men he's sharing an apartment with are all recovering from addictions. He wants to make Christmas feel like...y'know...CHRISTMAS for them. So I gave him my tree. I didn't want it. 

I had a minor spark of "put up a decoration, Peg. You know you want to" so I went to the local Hobby Lobby, bought a $10 tabletop fake tree, a box of small ornaments, and a tiny garland. Now it's on the living room cabinet, looking mildly festive and that's about all I can muster at the moment. Who knows, another spark might happen and I'll put out a couple more things. But if it doesn't, whatever. No big deal and I am the only one in this house anyway so what's the point? It's about like cooking myself a big 3 course meal when I could get as much nutrition from a PowerBar and an orange.  

Merry #*@($^  Chrissmess y'all.

Though I think I should get a little credit, as I've been making those cookies to give out. Biscotti, in particular. I started making them as Christmas goodies probably 30 years ago. People responded positively to them, I like making them, and I prefer giving food anyway because they don't have to figure out what to do with them. 

When you have kids at home, and the nuclear family is all in one piece, Christmas is easy. You decorate, you go to Church Events like pageants and Ornament Making Parties. You sing carols with friends, go to parties with your spouse, or host them. Or both. Calendars are full. You put lights all along your porch rails and hang them from the eaves. You go to those Light Shows (like at Callaway Gardens) and enjoy the looks on your children's faces, drink hot chocolate...there's SO MUCH. And I'm sure lots of single people do those things too, things like Friendsgiving Dinner, and all the stuff you see on the Hallmark Channel. 

But for the person who's still grieving, and I know it's another Season, not a permanent situation, so don't think I'm getting bitter...I'm just explaining something...for the person who's grieving, it's different. Bittersweet and painful. The Holidays are rife with memories. The times I surprised Himself with something he'd always wanted. The times Capt and I took a trip or had a bonfire or spent the entire day in our pajamas eating junk food because we could. 

But now, It's got a different flavor. I think about how God was willing to be born as a man, live with the physical shortcomings and fully understand what we, as humans with our failings, go through, and then die as a man when He was capable of blinking and making it stop but He didn't. I think about Mary, who knew better than anyone Who this little baby was that she carried for 9 months. She risked losing everything, even her life, by being an unwed mother back then. She could have said no. Joseph could have rejected her. All sorts of things could have happened but didn't. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't insist that Jesus's birthday is actually December 25. I don't really think it matters that much. The only part that matters is that He was born. That's it. The date isn't really important. Our modern day chooses to celebrate it on a particular day in December and so why not.

I guess my point now is that, since losing both Himself and Capt, and since all my kids are grown and gone, the focus of the Holiday has changed radically for me. I am learning to be OK with it. I am going to do other things than parades and parties and lights on the porch. I'll read a lot. Isaiah's prophecy about Jesus's birth...

 The people who walk in darkness will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, the light will shine on them.  Isaiah 9:2

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace, On the throne of David and over his kingdom, To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness From then on and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this.  Isaiah 9:6-7

Then the fulfillment of that prophecy in the second chapter of Luke:

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in clothes and placed him in a manger, because there was not guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks by night. an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them "Do not be afraid, I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God by saying,

Glory to God in the highest heaven,

and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests"

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

So there it is. Christmas. Pondering like Mary about what-all it means. I'm pretty much forgoing the business...BUSY-NESS of Christmas because I want to. Instead, I'm going to read and re-read Isaiah and Luke...it honestly never, ever gets old. Every time I read it I am more impressed and amazed at the work God has done, is doing, and will do in this world, all because He wants to and loves us more than we can possibly imagine.