A month of giving thanks

Yesterday I was, as is my current habit, thinking about Capt and Himself. It occurred to me how very blessed and privileged I am, to have been loved so enthusiastically and generously by 2 men. Those men gave me their whole selves, treated me like a queen, and spoiled me rotten. Not many people have that honor...to be loved so much. 

You see, I was trying to get over feeling sorry for myself. Self-pity is a quality I dislike in other people, and consider it hypocritical when I catch myself wallowing. So I pondered how to turn that around....the missing those 2 men and wondering "why me" about the brevity of my relationships with them. Then I realized just how very honored I should feel that God gave them to me. 

And I do....feel honored, that is. The "why me" of self pity turned into a 'why ME?" of "what makes me so special that I should get 2 of them", when there's a lot of women who don't even get 1 such man. Talk about an attitude adjustment. 

Himself was the love of my youth...28-1/2 years we grew up together, had children, learned, moved from place to place, figured out what it was to be adults. We went from being college students in a tiny apartment to executive (him) and his social director (me) in a huge house on a golf course. Poverty (literal, not figurative) to prosperity in spades. We both worked hard, and had little time for self-indulgence. 

Capt was the love of my...I'm not elderly...something. A short relationship of 5 years but he was so critically important in many ways. He taught me how to handle my adult sons, treat them like the men that they are and not like grown "children". We had fun...real FUN. Of a sort I had never had because I had been raising children and supporting Himself in his career. Fun that felt selfish because it was what *I* wanted to do, not putting the wants of everyone else before mine. 

Both men wanted me to be happy. Himself gave me free rein over the household, smiled at my love of roses and gardening and kept that liberally satisfied. Capt continued that, with more roses and gardens, and helped me realize I didn't have to necessarily have to put myself last when it came to doing something. He'd ask me "What do YOU want to do?" then hound me about it until I finally said something he knew wasn't being said because I thought it was what he wanted. 

So yeah, I'm thankful, grateful, privileged, and amazed that I have been loved by 2 men. I don't know what it is that God sees, that He blessed me so richly.