Merry Christmas, Capt

Dear Capt,

Merry Christmas in Heaven, love! Every day you are right there in the thick of it, celebrating your redemption and the full-on love of Christ. What an incredible gift! You are fully released from the aggravation of being human. I'm so happy for you!

I got some great pics from A and D in the Bahamas....D is wearing your crocs, I know you approve! You are there with them in spirit, and they are remembering you fondly, with steaks and crocs and warm beaches. You'd be so proud of them! 

It's been stupid cold here. Frozen pipes, all the fun stuff. Fortunately, there's people here who can deal with it. I know if you were here, it wouldn't have happened because you'd have known how to prepare. I'll know next time. You know me, I learn through experience and mistakes. I'm glad you're not having to deal with all this. You get to sing and walk a warm beach with your bare feet, and stand in God's warm glory. I am so happy for you! (I said it before and I'll keep saying it. I am so happy for you!)

Love, I miss you. I miss your loud voice and your room-filling presence and your stupid crocs everywhere. I miss your opinions and your company on the front porch in the evenings, commenting on the birds and squirrels and plans for the future. I miss your clothes on the floor next to the laundry basket and the way you'd make up the bed in the morning. The surprise package in the mail- a new cookbook or plant or yet another pair of crocs in some design that caught your eye. The reading glasses that matched the crocs...and how you would get testy when I called your fashion sense "quirky". 

Honey...crocs and reading glasses that match qualifies as quirky. When they both match the boat...I mean...c'mon. 

and yes. I miss all that but you can have all the crocs you want that match the boat. Do you even wear shoes in Heaven? Or need reading glasses? I know you have a boat. You're happiest in a boat, with a Boykin riding along. Miss E is your fishing partner now. Good for you! 

All that said, I miss you. I know you're where you always wanted to be, especially that last 6 months when you were so sick and depressed. I am so thankful you've been released from all that. Really I am. But, I miss you today. I wish you were the one here to keep the pipes from freezing, and fixing the issues that come up. I wish you were the one to say Christmas isn't that big of a deal, why don't we go to the beach instead.  

But, you're not. You're doing more important things. I'm actually pretty much ok. Dad's going to make pancakes if I can blow Eli out of bed. I'm going to plaster on a smile and be thankful for the people I have here. I'm going to think about the wonderful times you and I had, and be thankful for those memories. 

5 short years, you and I had. Not always blissful, but always interesting. 3 fabulous years of adventure and learning, 1 year of COVID bullshit, and 9 months of WhattheHeckisGoingOn doctors visits and, honestly, misery. You couldn't help that. I don't blame you at all. God knows what He's doing and something good will eventually come of it. Through all of it, I loved you, and still do. So...

Merry Christmas in Heaven, love. Enjoy the sand, sun, and Glory.