It's the little things

 Capt and I did a lot of big things in our short time together. Travels to places I'd never been, things I'd never done but always wanted to, all these experiences and adventures! I've got some amazing memories now, and pictures to prove them. Isn't it wonderful to be able to look at the things you've done and relive them? Yes it is.

There's a lot of small things too, and those are the ones that daily hugs from him. The Auburn coffee cup he made the HUGE philosophical sacrifice to get. He was a Bama Fan through and through. The warm wrap that matched a dress I liked. Cookbooks. He's everywhere here. I smile, and tear up, and wonder at it. 

Sometimes I get angry, too. Why did this happen? What on EARTH and HEAVEN was God thinking when all this went down? I know He has something in mind, He always does and it's my job to roll with it. I don't like rolling very much. I had to roll when Himself passed away and that was awkward at best, scary too. This time (UGH..."this time") it's not as scary but just as awkward.

I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. Job 42:2

I'm doing some things now that we didn't do. I have jar candles that make the house smell like Christmas. Capt had a house burn down once, so he was super cautious about flame things and that meant NO CANDLES. Now I have a gorgeous smelling peppermint one in a deep jar and I'm very careful with it. 

I bake squash for breakfast now. A hot, creamy acorn squash with butter and a touch of molasses is a delicious breakfast. In fact, I eat all sorts of things he eschewed. Mostly vegetables. When we met he was a carnivore w/potatoes. By the time he passed away, he subsisted on nutritional shakes and fruit. If there's steaks in Heaven I'm sure he's enjoying them again. 

But there's still chunks of memories and reminders everywhere, just as there are of Himself. Wow...The 2 of them are suffused through my life and my house. 

They say we are an accumulation of our experiences. I love that these 2 men are part of those. I cherish being surrounded by the love they gave me. I look forward to seeing them both again, and telling them that. 

 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.                                         Revelation 21:4