Literally OBSESSED

 Ok, I dislike words that are, shall we say, INTENSE, unless the situation genuinely calls for it. Words like literally, horrifically, OBSESSED. That's the adverb du jour...OBSESSED. And it must be said in ALL CAPS because, y'know...OBSESSION is an intense situation. It implies that you're constantly thinking, dwelling on, to the exclusion of doing anything else. It's taking over your LIFE. 

I see ads...Olivia Wilde is OBSESSED with a certain cosmetic serum that makes her look younger (it doesn't, actually...but who am I to argue with a celebrity. We all know they know more than the hoi polloi.) Bless her heart, how does she even work if she's busy thinking about an oily liquid all day?  There's an ad that pops up on my facebook, for these scented laundry pods, and some testimonial says the person is OBSESSED with them. Again, bless his/her heart, that he/she can't function due to a detergent. I see ads and statements all over, of people being OBSESSED with the strangest things...a type of bra, a flavor of coffee, an item of some random and not-very-necessary item. How sad that they can't function because of it.

There's some poor person who can't function because of these things.

See, a while back, the Word Du Jour was HORRIFIC. It was used for all sorts of not-very-horrific situations. I use it for things that are life-altering in a huge way. Even the deaths of Himself and Capt, I wouldn't classify as HORRIFIC. Yes, difficult and unpleasant, but no body parts were mangled, no one went to prison after a long and messy trial (or even a short one...no one went to jail at all.) Lives were altered, to be sure, but not HORRIFICALLY so...just sad and God-directed. I remember a conversation with someone who'd been detained at an airport, taken to a room and questioned, then released. She didn't miss a flight, or lose anything. It was described, by her, as HORRIFIC. When I asked if she'd lost anything major, like her life or passport or a body part, she got kind of huffy. Probably because I didn't sympathize with the ordeal. I've also been detained, separated, and searched. I didn't worry about it since I knew I wasn't carrying contraband 6 ounce jars of chocolate sauce (another story), or questionable batteries in the soles of my shoes. It was more along the lines of "minor inconvenience". She wasn't even an historically oppressed personage. Just a regular ol' white woman like me. Then again, she might have had something embarrassing in her suitcase. Still not HORRIFIC. 

Now, I shall freely admit that, as a straight middle-aged white woman, I am generally not a target demographic for oppression, so I can't speak for the experiences of everyone, and perhaps an airport detention is, for some, a terrifying experience due to the historical treatment of their particular people. In some places, that situation can, indeed, be horrific...a beating, a years-long detention without a trial, the possibility of such is very real for some folks and what a terrible thing to have to think about. I am not trying to minimize that. But I think that by applying the term HORRIFIC to inconveniences and perceived offenses, the very real experiences of many folks, that truly are life-alteringly terrible actually ARE minimized. And THAT, folks, is not a thing that should happen.

I blame the national media. We've become sort of numb to the ways of the world, and that means we aren't paying much attention to what's going on in other places. Our attention needs to be focused so there's a reason for a 24-hour news cycle. All that time needs to be filled with IMPORTANT STUFF. So, let's use more and more severe adjectives and adverbs, let's make skin oil and laundry soap something over which WE MUST OBSESS. Let's make a fender-bender or an embarrassing airport search HORRIFIC. 

Another word is LITERALLY. You'll hear some well-fed young person, who skipped breakfast because they overslept and could only get a 1500 calorie Mocha Fralatte W/Extra Caramel and Double Whip On Top through the drive through, whine about being LITERALLY STARVING so they walk to Panera for a turkey sandwich and tomato soup. Hun, you're not LITERALLY STARVING. Here, let me show you a camp in Sudan. A child in Yemen. In fact, chances are, that person isn't LITERALLY anything except maybe privileged beyond the wildest imagination of a child in Yemen. You don't see LITERALLY much in the mass-media, it's more of a cultural lexicon thing, so I'm not blaming them. I will use LITERALLY appropriately occasionally. As is, "I am LITERALLY annoyed that my coffee maker is misbehaving" or "These boots are LITERALLY the most comfortable things I own" I am NOT, however, LITERALLY OBSESSED with either of those things, nor is the idea of getting up in the morning sans coffee a HORRIFIC situation...although it could be...I guess...for the other person in the household (although that situation isn't a thing anymore.)

 And so you don't think I'm LITERALLY a complete grouch a 'la Walter, here is LITERALLY the easiest fudge recipe I've ever found. Seriously. 

Easy Chocolate Fudge

• 1 14-ounce can of sweetened condensed milk
•  3 cups of chocolate chips, whatever kind. I like Dark
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Mix together everything in a microwave-proof bowl, and zap for 30 seconds at a time, stirring in between, until it's all melted and runny and mixed really well. Pour into a parchment lined 8x8 pan, cover, and refrigerate until firm. (several hours)

Cut into small squares.

You can easily add chopped nuts of whatever variety you like. I like roasted salted pecans. 

The first time I made this I was lazy and just used a bag of chips instead of an entire 3 cups. Still good, but very soft. Don't be like me. Get 2 bags of chips, and reserve the extra for drizzling on top if you feel fancy.

This makes a fairly soft fudge, which can also be rolled into little balls and coated with cocoa powder, toasted nuts or coconut, whatever, then relabeled as truffles, if you want to get super-fancy and make everyone think you're a magician. My next batch I'm going to add a splash of peppermint extract. There's also a coffee extract/flavoring that ok yeah. Mocha truffles. How could that be a bad thing?

If you make truffles, and want to get extra-super fancy, melt a bit more chocolate, sans milk, and after the fudge is rolled into little balls, drizzle the melted chocolate on top and use it to glue a pinch of something- crushed peppermint candies, chopped nuts, or maybe a pinch of coffee grounds- to identify the flavor, especially if the balls are rolled in cocoa powder instead of something indentifyingly obvious (like nuts)