I did a thing...

 I did a thing I said I'd never do. Yes. I did it. 

I got rid of books.

Not ALL the books. I'm not crazy! But a bunch of them. As I sorted through them to put up on my fancy new bookshelves (Capt and I intended to get these things up last year but life imploded and that didn't happen), a question came to mind. "Why are you keeping these ones you'll never read again? Or that pile over there you've never read but seem to be constitutionally incapable of pitching?"

And I though to myself, "Self, why ARE you keeping those books you'll never read?" 

And I answered, "Self, because it's WRONG TO THROW AWAY BOOKS."

Why?

I dunno, it just seems....wrong. 

Well, it's not and someone else perhaps can use them. Maybe someone who can't afford to go to a bookstore will be able to spend 25 cents on them and have a good story to read. 

And so it happened. Books that were unpacked have now been repacked and will soon go into the back of the truck and carried to a thrift store.

I have a few favorite authors, and those books will be kept. 

What I have now is a satisfyingly orderly set of shelves, sprinkled with a few sentimental items, punctuated with a scattering of oil lamps (useful things in a pinch), and rows of old friends...Chaim Potok, Fanny Flagg, Jan Karon, and a single Stephen King lurking menacingly in a corner. John Irving is glowering from the top shelf, while Catherine Marshall perches next to James Herriot. There is a sort of order to them, that makes sense to me if no one else. One small section has some great Old Books...Vanity Fair, Swift's Satires, Gone With The Wind...Those will get re-read (for the umpteenth time) over the next year or two.

Going through the boxes I came across one box full of photo albums...talk about a trip down Memory Lane. It's a good thing I am not on a particular timeline. Pictures of Himself and the boys (preschool aged) washing our 1987 Dodge Caravan in the yard, droopy diapers, covered suds. Grayton Beach with #1 as a 2 year old, brown as a bean in that Summer sun.  I found my grandparent's old album! In it was a tintype of my Grandmother's parents as children. She was born in 1913, so this had to have been the late 1800's. Clothing styles say shortly after The War.

I am gradually, one room at a time, shifting the house from Ours to Mine. No, I am not getting rid of Capt, but I am also not making this place a shrine to him. I will always have memories, photographs, bits and pieces from our travels together. Same with Himself. Photo albums, Christmas ornaments from trips, bits and pieces. Those 2 men are woven into my life and always will be part of it. I am very thankful for them and our times together. 

I have a lot of work to do, to become a Me instead of a We. I'm ok with that. I might as well be, there isn't much I can do to change it. I am starting with bookshelves and painted cabinets.