Maybe I've lost my mind, maybe I found it.

 

You know, on the surface it seems...kind of...Frivolous? Half-cocked? I can safely say with a great deal of confidence it's neither of those things. The simplest take is that, at the age of 53, I was in a place in my life to meet a person who's dreams for the future perfectly matched mine, and he has the gumption to actually pursue them in a tangible way. And we have given it a LOT of thought.

Here's probably where I'd be right now, if we'd not met: I'd be living in this house we're in right now, working during the days as a caregiver or perhaps an office administrator. I'd come home, cook supper for myself and my parents, watch a couple of hours of Murder, She Wrote with Mom, then come home, go to bed, lather, rinse, repeat. Occasionally I'd watch a documentary on some exotic location, but never consider the possibility of actually visiting it. Probably now and then I'd think "gee wouldn't it be fun to (insert fun thing)" but never actually do it because I'd have to get up the next morning and lather, rinse, repeat. I wouldn't have bought a truck for myself, or a camper/RV thing and traveled to Florida to figure out that further South is where I'd rather be.

Honestly, I think my world would be small. It would rotate around parents and children and I wouldn't even give any thought to what I wanted/wished for. I'd go to church on Sunday, do laundry on Monday, eat pork chops on Wednesday, and have a glass of wine on Friday. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I think about that a lot...if I would have the courage alone to do the things I am doing now. Probably not. In the grand scheme of things I can be fairly cautious. I want to make sure all the bases are covered. All the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed. Twice. And I can get kind of nervous when they aren't. When you have 4 kids and are the one who does all the household management while they're growing up, it is necessary to be careful about all that stuff. 

Now, though...they're all grown and tending for themselves. Oh sure, they still need Mom but the support role is drastically different now. Most of the time they just want to tell me something, ask cooking advice, or sleep in the backyard hammock. That can mostly be done from anywhere. If I'm not around with an available hammock, they have the resources to ask a brother for help.

That gives me a lot of leeway now. I mean, I can go to...I don't know....Central America, Palau, Outer Mongolia, The Moon...and their lives would not be drastically affected and I might have a good time more so than the Laundry on Monday Wine on Friday routine. I've also got a driving force named Capt who says things like "why not?" when I say stuff like "but..."

And now he's got some very viable plans to make other people happy by taking them fly fishing in beautiful parts of the world, teaching other people how to "have the most fun you can have with your clothes on" (scuba diving), and I get to participate by being in those lovely locations and doing things I enjoy (helping other folks) and if I can do it with the philosophy of making their good times be as good as they possibly can be, then there we are. 

I don't know exactly where I am going to fit into the place we wind up- wherever that may be. But I've usually managed to find a place to serve. I'm excited though, that we are actually probably GOING somewhere that makes other folks go WOW. What would they say if I said HEY GUYS I'M SO EXCITED WE'RE MOVING TO WEST FLEAHOP, ARKANSAS (Missouri, Idaho, Vermont)?